To enjoy living the game of life, one has to let go of the win-lose mindset. For we are being programmed, from an early age, that games got to be won. This mindset spills over every aspect of our life - be it business or relationships. We became extremely competitive, relieving at our opponents’ losses as highly as we boast of our own victories. For these reasons, sports are not only our favorite form of entertainment but our principal mode and metaphor for our own lives. At home, at work, we talk of winning and losing: carrying the ball, closing calls, approaching the finish line and the like.
Related: How Your Unexamined Mindset Holds You Back
Startup entrepreneurs often confuse experiencing the game of life with that of running their business. To measure a business on the basis of wins and losses is to misunderstand both the purposes of a specific business and the nature of the business itself. No business – whether it sells insurance or manufactures cars – can or should be designed to win. It must rather be designed to grow, on both quantitative and qualitative levels. In this sense, it competes more with itself than with its competition. So, winning isn’t everything; it’s one of many things a business must accomplish. Thus, a company that’s designed merely to win is bound to lose.
By zooming out globally, the win-lose mindset is prevalent in all facets of life except for market leaders. In business, the best-run and most successful companies do not think in terms of victories and defeats, or shinning moments, or last-minute saves. Instead, they think in terms of staying power, market leadership, dedication to quality, and an endless effort to do better than they have done. It is the desire for being the best version of themselves over time. This is the only and sure way to master playing the real game of business. Being committed to compete with yourself every day to be better today than you were yesterday and tomorrow compared to today. It’s not a zero-sum game of cutting throat competition but rather being the best version of yourself.
What applies to business as a game can be applied to the game of life as a whole. The truth is that there is no workable or appropriate model for mastering the game of life. Throughout my experience with startup entrepreneurs for two decades, I came up with 4-pillar-model that makes the game of life more rewarding.
The first pillar is Redefining Success. The definition of success is a little bit elusive and needs to be revisited. Success was defined in material wealth and has been looked at as one component. But success is a holistic and integrated concept. Success is a journey not a destination. It is not merely one-dimensional concept. Still, material abundance, in all its expressions, happens to be one of those things that makes the journey more enjoyable.
The holistic approach to success is multi-dimensional. Success also includes good health, energy and enthusiasm for life, fulfilling relationships, creative freedom, emotional and psychological stability, a sense of well-being, and peace of mind. Even with the experience of these things, one dimension still remains unfulfilled unless we nurture the seeds of divinity inside us. For we are all divinity in the making. We are here on planet earth to reach our full potential and step into our best version. True success is therefore the experience of the miraculous. It in the emergence of divinity within us.
The second pillar is Being Intentional. It is practicing with purpose and awareness. That sounds simple, but it’s very different from how most of us approach our work each day. When most people talk about working hard, they use the amount of time they worked as an indicator of how hard they worked. (i.e. “I worked 60 hours this week!”) Putting in a lot of time might make you tired, but simply working a lot isn’t enough to make you a top performer. It’s not the same thing as practicing deliberately.
Researchers have noted that top performers and joyful beings, in every industry, are committed to deliberate practice. The best artists, musicians, athletes, CEOs, and entrepreneurs don’t merely work a lot, they work a lot on developing specific skills that makes them happy and fulfilled. For example, the American actor and comedian Jerry Seinfeld has sitcoms that are all about deliberately practicing the skill of writing jokes. The great musician Mozart has been called the “genius of geniuses” and even he practiced deliberately for 10 years before producing popular work.
The third pillar is Nurturing your Gift. The consequence of ignoring your gift is a life full of struggle and suffering. A true manifestation of this is the man who broke out World War II, Adolf Hitler. In his autobiography, Hitler described how he was, in his youth, a painter. He produced tens of works and sold his paintings in order to earn a living from 1903-1913. He told the British ambassador in 1939,” I am an artist and not a politician.”
What turned this artist into a war criminal? He revealed also that he was ruined in his youth when he has failed the entrance exam of the Academy of Fine Arts Vienna. He was rejected twice by the institute, once in 1907 and again in 1908. How a refined artist turns out to be a leader of the Nazi Party in Germany and the real instigator of World War II? The result of ignoring your gift and what nature has destined you to be is a life of frustration. This frustration manifests itself in forms such as anger, hatred, and greediness. Following your gift, on the other hand, and resisting the temptation to be anything other than yourself, is the road to fulfilment and flowering in life.
The fourth pillar is Being Playful. Stop being serious and start being playful. Playing the game of life is about celebrating every moment of your life. You need to live every minute in your life like a child: totally innocent of what the next moment will be, that's why kids are creative because they celebrate the surprising effect of each coming moment. The moment you stop celebrating life is the moment you stop being creative, inspiring and leading. Celebration then is not an occasion; it's a way of life.
Startup entrepreneur’s world is full of setbacks and failures, especially, at the start of their ventures, but these failures are the beginning not the end. Therefore, Misery and seriousness blocks the likelihood of enjoyment and creativity. Work and play shouldn’t be separated – it’s all living.
To master playing the game of life, turn your life into a game. A game that rests on 4 pillars. The first pillar is to redefine success and how success is more than achieving, it’s about fulfillment. The second pillar is to be intentional and presently living in whatever you do. The third pillar is to nurture your God’s given gift. The fourth pillar is approaching every minute in your life in a playful and curious way.
