Setting your boundaries is the way to live life on your own terms. Falling from paradise is the result of violating God’s law. The story of Adam and Eve is a reminiscent of man’s unwillingness to respect boundaries. In paradise, God’s boundary for Adam and Eve was not to eat from a specific tree – Tree of the knowledge. Violating this boundary has led both to descend from paradise.
The story doesn’t end there. Adam descendants on earth are not setting boundaries for their lives. We are brought up to have what we want by screaming and shouting and parents’ response was to ignore setting limits and boundaries of what we should get and what we shouldn’t. If boundaries are not set, one grows irresponsible till God’s law is finally set. This law enforcement takes the form of having divorce, hospitalization or being sent to jail.
The boundary is your property line whether physical or spiritual. In your physical world boundaries are tangible and visible. They are fences that protect your property from being violated. The most common boundary-setting word is No. If you cannot express this word you will lose control of your life. Responding to someone’s manipulative behavior by saying “I don’t accept being yelled at me!” conveys a message that this limit is not allowed to be exceeded. Period.
Our spiritual boundaries are intangible and invisible yet crucial. We desperately need to set mental, emotional, and spiritual boundaries for our lives. Many of psychological symptoms such as depression, eating disorders, addictions, marital and relational struggles can be attributed to the lack of setting boundaries.
The 24-year-old singer Justin Bieber is a boundary setter. Having been very popular and well-known around the world, he suffers the crushing of crowds that die for his signatures and taking his pictures. He lost control over his life. To meet everyone’s demand was draining and detrimental to his health and performance.
To regain control of his life, Justin states that, “I’m done taking pictures. I feel like a zoo animal, and I wanna be able to keep my sanity.” His supporters were first shocked by his statements but later accepted his boundaries.
To live life on your own terms you need to set boundaries. This helps you guard against others’ violations of stealing your treasures. These treasures comprise your time, relationships and well-being.